Tuesday, April 3, 2012

C is for - Clueless, Condoning Caregiver Cannot Control Crass, Criminal Child as he Cops a Cache of Candy at the Checkout Counter to the Consternation of the Cashier and the Customers, without Correction or Consequences

(Title Translation:  My kid's O. K.  It's not like he robbed a bank or something.)

Some people mistakenly believe that children are born pure, good and innocent. Like a brand new, clean slate, the negative circumstances of life begin to make their marks and mess them all up.  Evil, they say, is not their fault; it is learned or acquired.

But that idea is contrary to God’s Word. Those little darlings are born with sin natures. The reason they sin is because they are sinners.

God has done us a favor in the way He has designed for our development. We start out as babies - helpless and dependent. That puts parents in real positions of advantage over their sinful children. From the day they are born, those cute little things are self-centered and self-gratifying. They want what they want when they want it and they don’t care about anyone else. It is the responsibility of parents to ensure that their children are taught to behave right. Without any direction, correction, and discipline, they will grow up to become thieves, rapists, and murderers.

One day in a local store, I watched an unbelievable exchange between a mother and one of her children. The child wanted a bag of candy, the mother said no, and so the battle began. The arguing soon turned to yelling. The boy started demanding and then laid down in the middle of the aisle and began to kick and scream while his mother tried to wrest the candy from his hands. Before long, the spoiled little devil started hitting his mother and cussing at her.

She did what a lot of parents do today. She tried to “discuss” the matter with him. She tried to “reason” with him. She tried to “distract” him with other enticements. And then she decided to “ignore” him at the annoyance of everyone else in the store. While she was paying for her purchases at the checkout counter, her precious little “shoplifter” walked out of the store with the candy, opened it and began to eat it.

The one thing she should have done but didn’t, was to administer a swift and deliberate paddling to his shiny little butt. When another one of her children yanked the boy back into the store with the open candy bag, she took it from him, placed it on a shelf and walked out without paying for it.

In one short teachable opportunity, that mother was derelict in her responsibility to do good for her children.  Instead, she used that incident to teach all of her children her own, deviant, antisocial values that are sure to complicate their lives:
  • She taught them that authority could be ignored or challenged without recompense.
  • She taught them that when she said “no” she didn’t really mean it.
  • She taught them that satisfying their own lusts is more important than obedience or proper behavior.
  • She taught them that it is OK to steal.
  • And she taught them that there are no consequences for sin.
Her kids are monsters, and she is an irresponsible accessory to their crimes and a dangerous threat to society.

My daughter told this amusing true story about an experience she had one day as a substitute teacher.

One snotty little brat was terrorizing her classroom. He was unruly and out of control. He would not stay in his seat nor obey any of her instructions. He spoke out whenever he wanted to and he would not be channeled into any classroom activity. He was the typical substitute teacher’s worst nightmare; a real problem child. But this one had what so many people want to excuse as a “clinical disorder.” And so the regular teacher and his classmates had all come to accept and tolerate his annoying, aberrant behavior because it wasn’t his fault.

It wasn’t long before she had the inevitable face-to-face showdown and the ensuing battle of the wills. She knew that this was a battle she had to win. She collared him, sat him down, and told him how life was going to be and how he must act in order to survive in her classroom. His excuse for his misbehavior caught her by surprise. “I can’t help it!” he said, “I have Attention Deficit Disorder’.”

She instantly snapped back, “Good! Then, you have a great big advantage over the rest of us. We all have to control ourselves. You’re on medication to control your behavior so I expect you to be better behaved than everyone else. Sit down, shut up, and behave yourself.”

The rest of the class looked on in horror. He was shocked and surprised that she would dare expect him to assume personal responsibility for his actions. And he was embarrassed. She had humiliated him and damaged his fragile ego in front of his classmates but for the rest of the day, he sat quietly, did his work and rose to the level of her expectations.

Today's young people, for the most part, grow up with too little loving discipline. We excuse, deny, tolerate, blame, or condone the bad behavior of children. If children do not learn decency, respect, and self-control from loving parents and caring teachers when they are young, they will be subjected to the unloving, uncaring discipline of the police and the prison warden when they are older.

“Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child;
The rod of correction will drive it far from him.
” Proverbs 22:15

“He who spares (the) rod hates his son,
But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.”
Proverbs 13:24

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