Friday, July 29, 2011

The Wicked Witch of the West

Hey Nancy,

Now that you are no longer the Speaker of the House, how do you travel between San Fran and D. C.?

Do you still fly on Air Force Jets at our expense or do you have to use your own private broom?

Just Wondered.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Everybody's Afraid Of The Government - IT'S THE TRUTH

"...until we change the tempo and the conversation from Washington, it's not going to change.   And those of us who have business opportunities and the capital to do it are going to sit in fear of the President.   And a lot of people don't want to say that. They'll say, God, don't be attacking Obama.   Well, this is Obama's deal and it's Obama that's responsible for this fear in America.

"The guy keeps making speeches about redistribution and maybe we ought to do something to businesses that don't invest, their holding too much money.   We haven't heard that kind of talk except from pure socialists.   Everybody's afraid of the government and there's no need soft peddling it, it's the truth.   It is the truth.   And that's true of Democratic businessman and Republican businessman, and I am a Democratic businessman and I support Harry Reid.   I support Democrats and Republicans.   And I'm telling you that the business community in this company is frightened to death of the weird political philosophy of the President of the United States.   And until he's gone, everybody's going to be sitting on their thumbs."


Read more:

Thursday, July 21, 2011

We Don't Need No Stinkin' Balanced Budget Amendment

July 21, 2011

Dear Mr. President.

I know you are under a tremendous amount of pressure these days; seems like everything you touch turns to crap and your polling numbers are falling faster than a lead balloon.   And now, in the middle of all your woes, there is this huge debt issue hanging over your head and the tea party Republicans’ unwillingness to roll over on the debt ceiling thing is threatening a financial meltdown and certain economic catastrophe.

So I want to offer you a word of encouragement and make a little suggestion.  Since those pesky Republicans seem bent on a balanced budget amendment to the constitution, why not just agree with them on that point and let them take it to the people.  I don’t see where that would make any difference and you could benefit from the bump in your approval ratings that are sure to come when the people are deceived into thinking that you are serious about reaching a compromise for the good of the country.

You should not fear a balanced budget amendment.  You have no respect for the constitution anyway and in fact, already hold much of the archaic document and the amendments in contempt.  Furthermore, your administration is engaging in warfare against the people’s rights as articulated in the first, second, fourth, ninth, tenth, eleventh, fourteenth, seventeenth, and perhaps other amendments so the passage of this stupid, new amendment seems an insignificant little bone to throw to an unsuspecting and ignorant populace.  Those of us who are more informed already know that you, your administration, the courts, and even congress have no desire or intention to let a little annoying constitutional law stop any of you from your corrupt, despotic, and illegal rule.

So just let them take their proposed amendment to the peopIe.  There is always a chance that it will not be ratified but, if it is, they will soon forget all about it and you can just ignore it like you do the rest of our laws.  I hope you will consider this friendly suggestion; I’m just doing my part to help you out.


Ralph M. Petersen

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Liberty Is A Well-Armed Lamb

"Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. 
Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote."

Benjamin Franklin

Saturday, July 9, 2011

School Boards

"Before God created the fool,
He created the school board for practice." 

Mark Twain

Friday, July 8, 2011

Mr. Obama, Please Answer These Two Questions

July 8, 2011

Dear Mr. President

Who are you? After two and a half years of promises of Hope and Change, I am fearful for my country. From my perspective it has been nothing but Hype and Crap. And, regardless of how many pundits claim that you are really not a domestic enemy of this country; that you not a socialist or a Marxist, that you really are a patriot; that you really have this nation’s best interest in mind and that you really love this country and your heart is in the right place, frankly sir, all I see is a relentless, non-stop assault on our freedoms, rights, safety, and pocketbooks.

So, out of curiosity, I want to ask you just two simple questions. They are easy questions and most people could answer them with one word; either yes or no. I hope you will not insult my intelligence with verbose happycrap and indefinite, duplicitous, political non-answers. Please give it to me straight. Here are the questions:



I am including, with this letter, a copy of the U. S. Constitution for your convenience and perusal.  But I hate to see this great document go to waste so please note that I have pre-printed it with vertical and horizontal perforation lines for your convenience.  If you do not intend to read it and cherish it, then please cut it on the lines and stack the 4"X4" pieces on the tank lid of your toilet for an emergency supply in case you run out of toilet tissue. At least, then, you might find it useful for something.

Enjoy the gift.


Ralph M. Petersen
An American Patriot

Saturday, July 2, 2011


This week is one of those many special occasion days on our calendars, that can derail pastors and congregations.  This Sunday is July 3 (the day before Independence Day).   So there will be a patriotic emphasis in some of our special music selections.   I am somewhat concerned about all that; I know the inherent dangers and how easily our service can become profane and misguided. 

So at the outset, I will preface our service tomorrow morning with a few of these thoughts:

I am an American patriot and I believe that most of our church family are too.  And tomorrow, I will be reflective on the greatness of this country.  I will give thanks for those who have sacrificed their lives to secure our liberties.  I will praise God for His providential guidance in its formation and I will enjoy the celebrations of our national heritage.  I may even eat a hot dog or two, scarf down some watermelon, and fire off a couple dozen rounds of blanks from my .22 revolver.  That will be appropriate for the holiday tomorrow.

As for today, it is incumbent on us to remember that the purpose of our gathering together as the church of God is to honor and celebrate and worship Jesus Christ.   So I want to put our love for our country in a proper context.  

In the infancy of our nation, a foreigner, a Frenchman by the name of Alexis de Tocqueville, observed and wrote about the greatness of this country.    He wrote, “I sought for the greatness and genius of America in her commodious harbors and ample rivers, and it was not there; in the fertile fields, and boundless prairies, and it was not there; in her rich mines and her vast world commerce, and it was not there.  Not until I went into the churches of America and heard her pulpits aflame with righteousness, did I understand the secret of her genius and power.  America is great because she is good, and if America ever ceases to be good, America will cease to be great.”

I hope you don’t miss that.  There are two verses of Scripture that come to mind;  Prov. 14:34 says, “Righteousness exalts a nation but sin is a disgrace to any people.”  And another one is Psalm 33:12,  “Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord.”  

Now I don’t know if de Tocqueville was a Christian.  But I do know that he recognized that America’s greatness was a result of her goodness; and her goodness was rooted in her reverence for God and her respect for His laws and His Gospel.  America was great because her God is Great. 

And so as we sing the words to, “My Country Tis Of Thee,” I want you to notice that the writer of this patriotic song recognizes, in the very first line, that our country is a gift from God (You might not see that because some modern editors have not capitalized the letter "T" in the word, "Thee."  In earlier hymnbooks that word is capitalized).  And then in the final verse, he appeals to God for His continuing grace, and goodness, and protection.
There are many today who would argue that our founding fathers were not all Christians and even if they were, it was never their intention to recognize God’s sovereignty and providence in our nation’s formation, much less establish it on biblical principles.  But they would be wrong.  Listen to the words of some of our founders:

Benjamin Franklin,  “I have lived, my friends, a long time, and the longer I live, the more convincing the proofs I see of the truth…that God governs in the affairs of men.  And if a sparrow cannot fall to the ground without His notice, is it probable that an empire can rise without His aid?”

Patrick Henry,  “It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this great nation was founded, not by religionist, but by Christians; not on religions, but on the Gospel of Jesus Christ!  For this very reason, peoples of other faiths have been afforded asylum, prosperity and freedom of worship here.”

James Madison,   “We have staked the future of all of our political institutions upon the capacity of mankind for self-government, upon the capacity of each and all of us to govern ourselves, to control ourselves, to sustain ourselves according to toe Ten Commandments of God.”

Less than 100 years later, this country was torn apart in a terrible civil was.  Abraham Lincoln wrote,  “We have been the recipients of the choicest bounties of Heaven.  We have been preserved these many years in peace and prosperity.  We have grown in numbers, wealth and power as no other nation has ever grown.  But we have forgotten God.  We have forgotten the gracious hand which preserved us in peace, and multiplied and enriched and strengthened us; and have vainly imagined in the deceitfulness of our hearts, that all these blessings were produced by some superior wisdom of our own.  Intoxicated with unbroken success, we have become too proud to pray to the God that made us.  It behooves us, then, to humble ourselves before the offended Power, to confess our national sins and to pray to the God that made us!  All this being done, in sincerity and truth, let us then rest humbly in the hope, authorized by the Divine teachings, that the united cry of the nation will be heard on high, and answered with blessings, no less the pardon of our national sins, and restoration of our now divided and suffering country to its former happy condition of unity and peace.”

Psalm 22:4 says, “In You our fathers put their trust; they trusted and You delivered them.”

We will close that portion of our service by singing, "God Of Our Fathers."

At that point, my pastor will open the Word of God and preach from Isaiah 33.

After the morning message, our service will end with the singing of, "If My People's Hearts Are Humbled," which is a musical paraphrase of 2 Chron. 7:14, If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.”