Wednesday, December 28, 2011

The Three Little Pigs by William Shakespeare

Very funny rendition of the fairy tale as it might have read if Shakespeare had written it.

But, apart from the humor, one of the interesting and unfortunate facts about our language, as John points out, is that Shakespeare had a working vocabulary of 54,000 words.  Today, in the United States, we have a working vocabulary of 3,000 words.  It's no wonder we have such a hard time reading and understanding classic literature.





HT:  to Jon D. Shimeall for sharing this.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

"Filling The World He Lies In A Manger" Augustine

"The claim that Christianity makes for Christmas is that at a particular time and place God came to be with us Himself. When Quirinius was governor of Syria, in a town called Bethlehem, a child was born who, beyond the power of anyone to account for, was the high and lofty One made low and helpless. The One who inhabits eternity comes to dwell in time. The One whom none can look upon and live is delivered in a stable under the soft, indifferent gaze of cattle. The Father of all mercies puts Himself at our mercy."
Frederick Buechner


Filling the world he lies in a manger.



In this poem written some 15 centuries ago, Augustine tried to capture the mystery of the Incarnation:


Maker of the sun,
He is made under the sun.
In the Father he remains,
From his mother he goes forth.
Creator of heaven and earth,
He was born on earth under heaven.
Unspeakably wise,
He is wisely speechless.
Filling the world,
He lies in a manger.
Ruler of the stars,
He nurses at his mother's bosom.
He is both great in the nature of God,
and small in the form of a servant.

Saint Augustine of Hippo (354-430)

Friday, December 16, 2011

My Favorite Cell Phone Ringtone


I have used this ringtone for about a year.  I thought I was the only one using it.  I haven't heard it anywhere else.  My wife HATES it and she is embarrassed every time I get a call in a public place.   But I think it's fun and very patriotic in a sarcastic kind of way.

Today I received an email from a friend who forwarded it to me.   Apparently it has attained "Most Popular  RING TONE" status and is a hit in New York City.  



Give it a try and see what you think.

Christmastime Food Court Flash Mob

A spectacular flash mob interruption in a busy mall at Christmastime last year. 

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Michelle Obama Wants To Meet ME?


TO:                  The Campaign To Reelect Barack Obama


Okay, so in my past correspondence, I admit, I have been overly sarcastic.  But this time I am serious and I really hope that someone there will take the time to READ THIS LETTER.

I'm guessing that is probably hard for most of you because, since you continue to keep me on your email list, and constantly thank me for my support (which has been zero), and persistently ask me for more money, it is obvious THAT YOU HAVE NEVER READ MY LETTERS BEFORE.  If you had, you would have known that I NEVER HAVE AND NEVER WILL EVER SUPPORT OBAMA. 

Furthermore, I AM NOT INTERESTED IN RECEIVING A PERSONAL INVITATION TO HAVE DINNER WITH HIM.

And what’s up with Michelle?  Is my picture listed in some singles connection site or something?  Why does she tell me that she would like to meet me?  Does her husband know about that?  Please tell her that I AM NOT INTERESTED IN MEETING HER!  And, besides, I certainly don’t want to sit down to dinner with someone who wants to deprive me of all the tasty junk food I like so that I can be AS SKINNY AS SHE IS.

I do not want my name entered into a phony drawing to have dinner with the King and Queen of Amerika even if it only costs me $3.00.  In fact, I WOULDN’T WALK ACROSS THE STREET TO SEE THEM IF IT WAS FREE.

Why would I want to socialize with enemies of my country?  Why would I support someone who has declared war on our constitution and our rights?

I am not your friend.  I don’t want to golf, or have a beer, or even a friendly chat with the One who has vilified patriotic and God-fearing Americans and whose policies have destroyed our jobs, property values, freedoms, and our economy, our industries, and our hopes.

I am NOT SENDING YOU $3.00.  We, the taxpayers have been ROBBED OF FAR TOO MUCH ALREADY and the Campaigner-In-Chief has WASTED FAR TOO MUCH OF IT.

SO PLEASE, IF THERE IS NO ONE THERE WHO CAN READ BIG WORDS, I WILL TRY TO MAKE THIS REAL SIMPLE ONCE AGAIN BECAUSE YOU KEEP MISSING IT (or you are all dumber than rocks):

·      QUIT ASKING ME FOR MONEY!

·      TAKE MY NAME OFF YOUR EMAIL LIST!

·      LEAVE ME (AND MY GUNS and pitchforks) ALONE!

·      GO POUND SAND!


Please pass this on to Barack, Michelle, Joe, and anyone else who has been sending me contribution requests.  

I hope all of you have a Merry Christmas.

Respectfully yours,






Ralph M. Petersen


Delivered by return email on 12-15-11

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Holiday Fun For My Twin Grandsons

I am posting this one again this year especially for my youngest grandsons.  Parker and Cooper, who will be four years old in January, both learned to belch this year.  Their mother is going to hate me for this.


Friday, December 9, 2011

The Great Liberal Challenge--Go Ahead, I Dare You!


Why am I politically conservative?   Because I am a Christian.  Not that Christianity is political, but when it comes to how I vote and what I believe about my national citizenship, my Christian faith absolutely requires a consistent conservative political, economic, moral, and social position because it is compatible with biblical truth.
 
I cannot think of one single liberal position, objective, concept, belief, persuasion, tenet, ideology, principle, solution, theory, viewpoint, or conviction of the left in any matters of governance, economics, environmentalism, social issues, or even religion that are not diametrically opposed to the clear teachings of the Word of God.  In fact, I think the term "liberal Christian" is an oxymoron.

So there's the challenge.  If you can think of any position of the left that is compatible with a truly biblical Christian worldview, please let me know.   And, if you are successful, I will publicly repent here on my blog.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Is Stupidity A Prerequisite For Public Employment?

Hard to believe?  Hard to believe?  

NO!  It's NOT hard to believe.




Why would we expect TSA security agents to be any smarter than public school teachers and administrators?

OH!  They probly lernt this stuff in publik skools.

It's just a good thing that she didn't point her loaded finger at someone.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Dismemberment And Amputation

Dismemberment - the act of cutting, tearing, pulling, wrenching or otherwise removing, the limbs of a living thing. It has sometimes been practiced by despotic rulers as a form of capital punishment.  Sometimes it is as a result of a traumatic accident, or in connection with murder, suicide, or cannibalism.  As opposed to surgical amputation of the limbs, dismemberment is often fatal to all but the simplest of creatures. Wikipedia

Notice the difference between dismemberment and amputation.  Amputation is a precise surgical process of cutting something off that has become corrupted or diseased and can destroy the body if it is not removed.  Its purpose is to save the life of a body.

Dismemberment is a violent, torturous act of cutting off body parts.  It usually ends in death.

So why is it that so many church leaders today, neglect necessary amputation in the “Body of Christ” and, instead, cut and tear and pull the church apart, limb by limb to its detriment and possible death? 

Just Wondered!

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Giving Thanks To God

I am fed up with all the “political correctness” in our culture that has taken us way beyond just polite tolerance. We are now to the point that we fear that anything we say might offend someone. In recent years, several major retailers have made official corporate decisions to not say “Merry Christmas.” Instead, I guess they are just going to wish everyone a “Happy Whatever!” And everywhere we look, we see that the names of our religious seasons have all been changed to things like Spring Break, Harvest Celebration, and Winter festivals so that we don’t offend the 14% of our population who don’t want to hear any mention of God. And the increasing use of the term “T-Day” is just about as ridiculous as removing the name of Christ from Christmas and replacing it with an X.

Because we are afraid to offend anyone, when we come to a holiday like “Thanksgiving Day,” we try to express our thankfulness in general without mentioning God in particular. That’s like the story I read about a child who wrote for a classroom assignment, "The pilgrims came here for freedom of ‘you know what.’ When they landed, they gave thanks to ‘you know who’ and because of them, we can worship each Sunday, ‘you know where’."


Regardless of what your children’s revisionist history books say, Thanksgiving Day is not a commemoration about the pilgrims giving thanks to the Indians for saving their lives. Nor is Thanksgiving Day a multi-cultural celebration about Indians; it’s not about pumpkins, corn or even turkey. In fact, it isn’t even about the pilgrims at all.

The first Thanksgiving Day occurred in 1621. The Pilgrims had just endured their first winter. It was a terrible winter in which scores of children and adults had starved to death. They were ready to give up and were about to return to England when another ship arrived with medical supplies, food, and just enough hope to encourage them to remain in the midst of terrible adversity. In spite of all that, they still gave thanks to God.

Two years later William Bradford, the governor of the Plymouth Colony, said, “Inasmuch as the Father has given us an abundant harvest and has made the forests to abound with game and the sea with fish; and He has protected us from the ravages of the savages, has spared us from pestilence and disease, has granted us freedom to worship Him according to the dictates of our own conscience; I now proclaim that on Thursday, November 29, 1623, we will render thanksgiving to the Almighty God for all His blessings.”


Thankfulness is a characteristic that should be evident in the lives of God’s people regardless of our circumstances. One man, who learned to move beyond discouragement, went to work at age seven when his family was forced out of their home. When he was nine, his mother died. He lost his job when he was twenty. He wanted to go to law school, but he lacked the education. At age 26 his business partner died leaving him a debt that took years to repay. When he was 28, the woman he loved rejected his marriage proposal. On his third try, he was elected to Congress, at age 37, but then failed to be re-elected. His son died at four years of age. When he was 45, he ran for the Senate and lost. At age 47 he ran for the vice-presidency and lost. But at age 51, Abraham Lincoln was elected president of the United States.

In the midst of the Civil War, in 1863, Lincoln established our annual celebration of Thanksgiving with this proclamation:
“It has seemed to me fit and proper that [the gifts of God] should be solemnly, reverently, and gratefully acknowledged with one heart and one voice by the whole American people. I do, therefore, invite my fellow citizens to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next as a day of thanksgiving and praise to our beneficent Father who dwells in the heavens.”

God has commanded that we be always thankful recognizing that He is the one who blesses us and provides for us even in times of adversity and great difficulty.

I have especially noticed, this year, how many general expressions of thanks we hear.  People say they are thankful for friends and family, health and wealth, and a myriad of other stuff.  And as important as it is to be thankful, it is more important to direct our thankfulness to the right source of our blessings.  Thanksgiving is about being thankful to God in all things and for all things.

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Th. 5:18

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Believing The Lie

The Leaning Tower of Pisa reopened to tourists a few years ago after being closed for over ten years, Apparently the tower had been slowly tipping for years and was in danger of falling over so work was required to reduce its incline by several degrees.

Now this will blow your mind. I read that there are actually some people who are absolutely convinced that the tower was not then and is not now leaning at all. They insist that there is some local optical phenomenon that makes it only appear to be leaning sort of like Knott’s Berry Farm’s mystery house.

As ridiculous as that might sound, there are millions of crazies out there who believe all kinds of nutty stuff. Here are just a few other examples that you might have heard:

“Pigs are really clean animals.”
“My child would never lie to me.”
“The holocaust didn’t really happen.”
“The U.S. government deliberately blew up the World Trade Center.”
“Men have never actually walked on the moon.”
“The world is flat.”

Some people will not be convinced by truth but will rather make deliberate choices to believe that which is unreasonable, unbelievable and untrue. In effect they say, “Don’t confuse me with the facts; I’ve already made up my mind.”

Another foolish lie that millions of people believe is that there is no God. Regardless of overwhelming, objective and demonstrable evidence, they deliberately suppress the truth because they would rather believe the lie.

“God’s wrath will come upon them. They are without excuse. Although they know God, they refuse to acknowledge Him. They claim to be wise but they are fools. They willingly exchange the truth of God for a lie, and worship and serve created things rather than the Creator.” Paraphrased from Romans 1:18-25

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Another Great Treasure From My Rhino Room

Ted Nugent; Rock Star, Big Game Hunter, NRA Spokesman, Second Amendment Advocate, and great American Hero.

This is one of my favorite rhinoceros collectibles from my office.  It is an authentic, autographed photo of Ted Nugent kneeling beside his awesome, big game trophy.  I am offering it for sale today on eBay.  So sad.  It's like a bad tooth; I've had it so long, I hate to get rid of it.



"Vegetarians are cool. All I eat are vegetarians - except for the occasional mountain lion steak."  
 Ted Nugent

Twenty-Six Percent Is A Majority (The "My Toots Don't Stink" Syndrome)


I've been thinking about this for a long time.  I call it a minority equals a majority phenomenon.  I first noticed it in polls about public education.  It went something like this:

Most Americans (approx. 84%) believe that public schools are failing miserably in educating children.  But the weird thing is that approximately 84% of them believe that their own local school is a rare exception. Similarly, whether it is true or not, a majority of people believe that public school teachers are incompetent but their own child's teacher is excellent.   So the outcome is obvious.  The overwhelming majority of people will always vote to retain their corrupt school boards and will protect their unionized, incompetent teachers because theirs are good.  Everyone else's are bad.  In other words, "my toots don't stink."

But that is not the only place this phenomenon occurs.   The American people are outraged that congress has not passed a budget for OVER 1000 DAYS.  Furthermore, Congress' approval rating is at an all-time low of 13%.  That means 87% of Americans think they are corrupt and incompetent and need to be thrown out.   And figure this:  64% of Americans now favor a balanced budget amendment.  We need it, we want it, and congress lacks the discipline and the will to do what each of us must do every day; BUDGET OUR RESOURCES AND LIVE WITHIN OUR MEANS.  And yet our representatives (those we have elected from our own districts and sent to DC to protect our interests) have thumbed their noses at us and said NO.  The 26% majority prevailed.  How does that happen?  It's the "my toot's don't stink" syndrome.  "My representative is GOOD.  Yours is BAD."  So we all keep reelecting the same incompetent, corrupt, self-serving career politicians who continue to shaft us at every opportunity and all we do is complain.

I see it all the time.  I live in the People's Republik of Kalifornia and every day I hear people complain about over-regulation, punitive taxation, and oppressive government.  And when I ask them, "How did you vote in the last election?" the majority always answer the same way;  they either didn't vote at all OR they voted for the same old, big government, fat cat, incumbent lefties because, "My Toots Don't Stink."

Elections have consequences.  When we vote wrong we get exactly what we deserve.  

The LEFT is God's judgement on stupid people.  NEXT TIME PAY ATTENTION AND VOTE RIGHT!

Sunday, November 13, 2011