Saturday, April 14, 2012

M is for - Too Many Multifarious Marriages, Multiple Mates, and a Myriad of Mixed up, Morally Mad, and Menial Mismatches Make for a Massive Maze of Matrimonial Mayhem

(Title Translation:  That's Just Wrong.)

Several years ago I served as the business administrator in Christian school.  And I remember one time when a high school boy was applying for enrollment.  On the personal identification information section of his application form was a line after the word “Sex.”  He wrote, “Yes, but only once when I was in junior high school.”

That was a little too much information; what we really wanted to know was whether the applicant was male or female?

Life was simple when I was a kid.  Everyone had a mother and a father.  And we all knew that when we grew up, boys would marry girls and girls would marry boys.  That’s kinda the way we are built; it works.  And besides, that the way we see it everywhere else in nature.  And furthermore, that's the only way that we can naturally reproduce.

And whenever someone is born, his birth certificate (if he has one) identifies him as either male or female.  When does someone become something other than what they are at birth?  Why even have that designation on the birth certificate?  Why not just leave it blank until the kid is old enough to decide for himself (oops! pardon me, I meant "itself") what it feels like it wants to be?

Things are far too confusing today.  I am told that there are five or six genders but if you do a Google search, you will find all kinds of answers.  Who knows?  I’m still going with two.


That confusion is causing matrimonial mayhem.  Should people be able to marry anyone they want?  Really?  What if I want to marry more than one person?  What if I want to marry my mother or my sister?  Or what if I want to marry my father?  Or how about my eleven-year-old granddaughter?

Seriously, I know people who love their dogs more than they love people.  So if a man can marry a man, why can’t he cross the species line and marry an ape?  Or how about a dead person?  I mean, at least they don’t “nag” or “talk back.”

There are no limits to the possibilities.  Why can't that young guy in the Jack-in-the-box commercial marry his bacon?  He really loves it and someday he might want to visit it in the hospital.   Here’s a woman who is madly in love with a three-foot tall marble statue of Adonis.  And she says: “I can honestly say I’m in love with him. He is my boyfriend and more.”  Yep, he's more alright; he rocks. 

And He (Jesus) answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE, and said, "FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH’?  So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”  Matthew 19:4-6

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