Pray For Obama

Psalm 109:8

Brown is the NEW Green

Fifteen years!

That's how long I have been the Administrator and President of Valley Christian Home (a residential facility for the elderly) in Hemet, CA.

And in all those years (and probably many more before me) we have been using those triple-fold paper towels in all our public restrooms and kitchens.

So a couple weeks ago I got involved in some purchasing activity after some staffing reductions (attributable to Obama's promises of Hope and Change). Staff had informed me that we were out of towels and needed to reorder. So when our supplier's sales rep showed up, I informed him of our need.

"Do you want the white towels or the 'green' towels" he asked.

"What are you talking about," I asked, "I've never heard of 'green' towels."

Then he explained, "The 'green' towels are the ones we used to call 'natural.' You know! The brownish colored ones that are manufactured from recycled paper."

"No thanks," I said, "I used to like green when it was a color in my Crayola box. Now that it is a religion, I hate green."

The he opened his price book and showed me that white towels were $40.00 per case and "green" towels were $20.00.

"O.K." I said, "I just changed my religion. Give me the 'green' towels."

Nancy's Brain Damaged by Botox?

When you use too much Botox on your face, Do you think the tightening of your skin probably puts too much of a squeeze on your brain?

How else would you explain THIS?











Just Wondered!

Obama's Three Biggest Lies

1. "I will not raise taxes on anyone who makes less than $250,000 per year."
2. "If you like your health care plan, you can keep it."
3. "I did not watch the election coverage Tuesday night."

My Newest Addition In My Arsenal Of Personal Protection

I've just added this one to my arsenal. When they come and take our guns away, I will still have my pitchfork.

I am a member of the NRA but I'm thinking about starting a new organization - the NPA (National Pitchfork Association).

Looks great hanging from the mantle in my office, don'tya think?

I found the rifle stock at a swapmeet for $3.00. The pitchfork was at a yard sale for $3.00. And the strap was .75 cents at another garage sale.

Total cost - $6.75. Assembly time was 30 minutes.

Now I'm ready!

Nose-Picking Preachers - The Use of Me and I

AAAHHHHHHG! I can't believe I am ranting about this again. There is hardly a day goes by that I don't hear it several times. And it is bad enough when people do this in casual conversation but when professional orators, radio hosts, and newscasters can't get it right, it is especially annoying.

I am reprinting this rant from two years ago because it is so irritating to me. So pay attention; I am going to say something here that most people will never mention because they are too polite or forgiving to tell you the truth. Nevertheless, whenever you commit this oratorical blunder there are lots of people who cringe at the least or think you are an ignoramus at worst.

The word is “me,” for cryin’ out loud. It’s “me, Me, ME.” Get it?

I don’t know why so many college educated, degree holding professional communicators act like they were too busy doing lunch to show up for grammar school. And it is especially annoying when schoolteachers can’t get it right. After all, you're teaching our kids. What are we supposed to think? This is one of the simplest, basic rules of elementary grammar and one of the easiest to get right so pay attention. THE WORD IS “ME.” It is not “I” or even “myself.” IT IS “ME!”

Now here's a word of advice for anyone (especially preachers) who wants to verbally communicate something of substance or importance to an audience. The rule is, use “I” if it is the subject and “me” if it is the object of a preposition. Never use "I" after a preposition. Never, NEVER, NEVER say “I” when the WORD IS “ME!”

Why does it matter? Let me illustrate. We have all observed children’s choir performances in church. Regardless how sincere they want to be in directing our attention to God in their singing, all it takes is one little “nose picker” in the front row to distract the entire audience. At that point, it doesn’t matter how much they practiced or how well they do, suddenly all attention is diverted from the object of our worship to the object in the kid’s nose.

I am serious about this. You have something to say and you want your audience to hear it. Do you think your presentation is necessary? Is it relevant? Is it important? Do you want the people to pay attention to the substance of your message? Of course you do. So then why would you interject something so irritating and distracting to the ears of your hearers that they would miss your point?

Preachers do this all the time. You spend a lot of time reading, studying, praying, and preparing for your message to the people. You recognize that you have a personal responsibility as the oracle of God, to speak His words after Him. You believe that your message, if it is truly scriptural, is the message that God wants to use in the hearts and minds of His people. You understand the importance of minimizing yourself and directing everyone’s full attention to the magnification and glory and praise of God. And then, suddenly, you distract their attention away from Him and His Word with one little irritating grammatical faux pas.

You will be passionately waxing eloquent on the merits of a loving God or the work of Christ in salvation. We will be listening intently. The Spirit of God is penetrating hearts and minds. And then you will personalize it with something like, “…this is what God requires of you and I,” or “…He did it all for you and I.”

At that point you have lost me and everyone else who cringes at your colloquial slaughtering of the language. Whatever you were saying is not reaching my mind because I have been suddenly distracted by your figurative “nose picking.”

P.S. If you are irritated or offended by this article, please forgive I.

Reformation Day

What I am about to confess, embarrasses me. How can a Christian, who has attended church his whole life, get to be my age (62) and not know something so important about our Christian church history?

I'm talking about a holiday that is celebrated on October 31. NOT Halloween but Reformation Day. Sure, I had heard the phrase a few times in my life but I just assumed that it was mostly about the beginning of the Lutheran denomination. It was only a couple years ago that I learned the details and the date of this memorial holiday.

Apparently most who are in protestant denominations (especially Lutherans) have some historical knowledge of it but in Baptist churches, Martin Luther is seldom mentioned.

I think it is ironic that on the day of the darkest and most evil holiday of the year, the "Light of the world" shown on a devoutly religious but lost Catholic priest, the light of the Word penetrated his heart, and the grace of God revealed to Martin Luther that "the just shall live by faith."

But most of the churches I am familiar with will never mention the beginning of the Reformation. They will celebrate Halloween instead. They won't admit it but they will. A few of the more honest ones will call it what it is; a Halloween party. The rest will disguise it as a "Halloween alternative" or a "Harvest Festival." Whatever they call it, kids will show up at church in costumes to play games and get lots of candy.

Of course, they will justify it as an "outreach ministry." After all, it is a great opportunity to invite unbelievers to church to prove to them that Christians can do the same kinds of things the world does and have just as much fun. And besides, with the candy, they will hand out some tracts.

Why are they so afraid to celebrate the birth of the Reformation? My guess is that they probably associate the history with "reformation theology." I wrote, in another post, that my daughter was teaching her children the Westminster Catechism. When she mention it, one of her church leaders responded by saying, "That's reformation theology. We don't believe in that here." That was ignorant and really sad. I have said before, I am finding myself more comfortable pitching my tent in the camp of reformed theology (which is God-centered) than dwelling in the mire of the kind of man-centered theology that is replete with "easy believism," "decisional regeneration," and "your best life now."

My Co-Pilot

As I travel down the roads of life, he is always there beside me to guide me. Without him I would be lost. When I listen to his voice and heed his instructions, I always end up in the right place. But he never forces his direction on me and whenever I go astray or make a wrong turn, he just quietly makes necessary course adjustments and gently leads me back onto the right path. And then, when I go the right way he praises me and lets me know what a great job I've done.

He is Homer Simpson and his voice guides me on my new GPS device. Listen to the samples here: http://www.tomtom.com/page/simpsons.

It sure makes driving fun.

Empty Suit? Cardboard Cutout? Dummy?

Obama posed with scores of delegates at the UN. How does He do this? Who is this guy? This is weird; spooky.

Mafia Thugs Take Over The White House

Is this the way they do stuff in Chicago? Are you scared yet? Did you hear the threat to conservatives who "lie" about His national health plan?

Let me reprint it for you. Referring to conservative talk show personalities and, especially notable Republican politicians (meaning Sarah Palin), Obama the Thug-In-Chief says, "If you misrepresent what is in this plan, we will call you out."

And the left goes wild with cheers and jeers. "That'll teach em." "Give it to 'em, chief." "Those pesky, lying sapsuckers need to be shut up."

And then, just a few moments later when He lies about His own plan in front of God and the whole world, only one man had the courage to "call Him out." South Carolina Rep. Joe Wilson yells 'You lie!' to the president and the lefties go balistic with outrage.

Watch out Sarah; watch your backside Joe.

How To Irritate The Left At Townhall Meetings.

I was wondering what I should wear this month when I attend a townhall meeting or a tea party and then I got this brainstorm. Actually, the credit for the idea must go to my brother, Greg.

Here is an illustration of the new T-shirt I designed just for the occasion.

I am also posting an image of the graphic so that anyone who wants one is welcome to download and print my design to use as he sees fit. If you want to print it on a t-shirt, be sure to print on DARK T-SHIRT TRANSFERS.

CAUTION:

This is not for the faint of heart.

Use of this product is sure to

irritate the snot out of lefties

and union members and

might cause violent bodily harm.

Use at your own risk.

A Message For Congress

I found this posted at Nickie Goomba's blog, "It Don't Make Sense."

Nickie urges others to post it also; this video clip should be widely circulated. I agree.

Regardless how much they try to vilify us as "brownshirts," "terrorists," "extremists," and "Nazis," conservatives are NOT the enemies of this country; the Nazis were the liberal party in Germany.

My hat is off to this "great American" Marine veteran hero who has sworn an oath to protect this country from "all enemies foreign AND DOMESTIC."

Just My Luck!

I always seem to be a day late and a dollar short.

I sold my old clunker for a thousand bucks and bought my new car just a few months ago. Then Obama comes up with a cash for clunkers deal and I could have gotten $4500. for it. Oh well.

And just about the time I was getting over it, this dealer comes up with the incentive of a lifetime. I would have bought a truck for this deal but I missed it too.




I wish Him well. I hope he sell lots of trucks and give away lots of AK-47s.

Its All My Fault!

I'm reposting this internet joke from a year ago because it is timely and just too good to pass up. And besides it is just one more reminder that IT'S ALL MY FAULT.

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican!"

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you tell me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you're not much help to me."

The man smirked and responded, "You must be a Democrat."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and now you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but, somehow, now it's all my fault."

Support For My President

I did my good deed for the day. I exercised my civic duty. I rallied to the support of my president's administration.

Last week he appealed for all Americans to report any "fishy" emails that may have disinformation about his socialist government takeover of health services to flag@whitehouse.gov.

Yesterday I received a very long email from some joker named David Axelrod that looked fishy to me and is probably full of disinformation so I forward it to the White House with this note:

Special thanks to a couple great kids in
Bakersfield for sending this picture from their
field trip to the natural history museum.

Dear Mr. President

Thanks for looking out for us.

You asked us to forward any "fishy" looking emails that might contain disinformation about your health plan. Well here's one I got yesterday from some doofus named David Axelrod (sounds like some phony mob name). I'm sure he must be some kind of Chicago thug. Anyway, he sent me this long email that is full of fish puke. Maybe you could straighten him out.

Thanks again.

Ralph

Beyond A Reasonable Doubt

How much evidence is necessary to convict? Our courts have a stated standard – the jury must be convinced “beyond a reasonable doubt.” Yet some people have convoluted ideas about making judgments about truth that require their being convinced “beyond a shadow of a doubt.”

I was listening to Dr. Laura one day when she took a call from a sixteen-year-old girl who complained that her parents made her go to church with them. She claimed that she is an atheist and it is not fair that her parents subject her, against her will, to a belief system that is contrary to her own.

That caught my attention because of the girl’s obvious stupidity. She is sixteen years old. At that age, most people do not have well-developed or reasoned belief systems. In fact, at my age most people don’t have well-developed or reasoned belief systems.

I thought Dr. Laura responded well. She questioned the girl’s unbelief and emphasized that, in order to be credible, she must defend her position by sound reasoning. Dr. Laura wisely pointed out that millions of bright, educated, and thinking people for thousands of years have concluded and defended a belief in a real God. It, therefore, seemed ignorant and foolish that the young girl could dogmatically assert beyond a reasonable doubt that there is no god.

I think, at best, the girl can only be an agnostic. There is no shame in admitting that we lack enough knowledge to conclude for certain that God exists. That is what you call “ignorance” and ignorance is fixable; stupidity is forever.

When one avowed atheist sued the federal government in the ninth circuit court of appeals to have the phrase “under God” removed from the flag salute, he argued that subjecting his daughter to the mere mention of God violates the constitutional prohibition for government to establish a religion. That is another good example of sheer idiocy. It really doesn’t matter how, or when, or where people utter the name of God; the most important question that demands an answer is, “Does God exist?” And quite frankly, it really doesn’t matter much whether or not we acknowledge Him in our flag salute. We can take Him off our money, we can expel Him from our schools and we can bar Him from our courts, but His existence cannot be established or nullified by popular consensus or by sincere beliefs.

One radio talk show host recently made the statement, “The existence of God cannot be proven.”

I disagree with that because honest, thinking people, when confronted with reasonable evidence must conclude that there really is a god. So is there any reliable evidence for the existence of God? Consider this:

TRADITION
It was only about 80 years ago that evolutionist began to tell us that the concept of one god is the apex of a gradual development that evolved from the belief in many gods. But historical research challenges those assumptions. It is increasingly clear that the oldest known traditions of all peoples worldwide were of one single supreme God.

PERSONAL EXPERIENCE
The transformed lives of millions of true believers and their experiences provide evidence, although subjective, that cannot be ignored. Their personal testimonies are worthy of consideration just as testimonial evidence is considered in a secular court of law.

PHYSICAL LAW
Legitimate scientific law must eventually conclude that there is a god. The law of cause and effect insists that “no effect can be produced without a cause.” Even evolutionists, as they consider everything they see in the physical universe, agree on that but eventually all their theories must lead them to an uncaused cause, which they can only describe as a “big bang.” But even the “big bang” required some material substance so they are left with the unexplained or the uncaused cause.

Secular scientists try to skirt this by stretching their timeline. The whole theoretical evolutionary process requires lots of time; if millions of years is insufficient to bring about an effect, then we just need to add millions more years. Eventially something improbable might happen. Its like the prospect that, given enough time and enough monkeys with enough typewriters, the monkeys could write the Gettysburg Address. I heard where that was actually put to the test. A lot of monkeys were put into a room with lots of typewriters for a long time and at the end of the test there was not one single word written. There was lots of unintelligible gibberish on the paper and lots of monkey poop on the keyboards but NOT ONE SINGLE WORD. The existence of the Gettysburg Address is evidence of an author.

NATURE
There is order and design in the universe. The Earth itself is evidence of design. Its size is perfect. If any smaller, an atmosphere would be impossible. If larger, it would contain free hydrogen. Its distance from the sun is correct to maintain temperatures to sustain life. Our moon is unique in comparison to moons of other planets. It is relatively much larger and has an affect on the continents and oceans. The tilt of the Earth’s axis insures the seasons.

O.K. so I am willing to admit that the fact that the vast majority of humanity, at all times and in all places, has believed in some kind of god is not conclusive proof. The majority can be wrong.

And I agree that the testimony of believers is too subjective and could be unreliable. And even if we admit an uncaused cause and even though there are many indications of God in nature, nature, itself, cannot conclusively demonstrate that He exists or what He is like. Even the Bible, in the book of Job, records the rhetorical question, ”Can you find God by searching for Him?” The obvious answer is “NO,” not unless He reveals Himself.

A few years ago, I attended a seminar at our local high school where a scientist was making his case for the existence of God. A lady in the audience stood and asked him this question; “Sir, if there really is a god, why doesn’t he simply show himself to the world and settle the matter once and for all?” If God would do that for us, she reasoned, we would all believe.

Would we? The reality is, He has taken the initiative throughout history to communicate to man. But His fullest revelation has been His invasion into human history in the person of Jesus Christ. The most conclusive evidence that there is a God is that He has visited us and revealed Himself to us. All other indicators are mere clues or hints. They provide supporting evidence and testimony. But the indisputable confirmations of those indicators are the birth, life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

So then there is evidence from tradition, human experience, nature, and science but most importantly, there is direct revelation. Therefore our faith can be sure and is, in fact, more reasonable than the foolish faith of atheists.

That’s right, a belief that there is no god is a remarkable act of foolish, indefensible faith that can only be explained by understanding that to conclude otherwise would demand a change in attitude or behavior.

There is a God and He can be known in personal experience. He has given us sufficient evidence for His existence. He has shown Himself to the world, but just like that lady in the seminar, many people refuse to believe.

But God’ existence isn’t dependent on our volitional belief. The day will come when everyone will acknowledge Him,

For the Scriptures declare, “ ‘ As surely as I live,’ says the Lord, ‘every knee will bow to me and every tongue will confess allegiance to God.’” (Rom. 14:11)