Buy Endangered Feces to Save Endangered Species

Are you stumped about what to give that special someone for Christmas? Have you considered rhinoceros excrement.

That’s right, three-toed ungulate dung. Nothing says Merry Christmas quite like some good old Rhino Poop.

This offering came out two years ago from the International Rhino Foundation. They auctioned four pieces of dung from the endangered species in order to fund conservation efforts. Their slogan was, "Buy endangered feces to save an endangered species!"

The dung derived from four of the five types of rhinoceros: white, black, Indian and Sumatran. The Javan rhino is so rare that a sample could not be collected (either that or he is just constipated).

Each piece is dried, mounted in a clear trophy case and marked with the type of rhino that produced it. (You know, as much as I like rhinos, I just can't visualize myself getting all excited about displaying a dried pile of poop on my desk.)

There are only about 17,500 rhinos remaining in the wild, and 1,200 living in captivity, according to the International Rhino Fund. So, they reason, if rhinos become totally extinct, we will still have something tangible by which we can remember them. It seems to me that a horn or even a nice head mount trophy would be a much more desirable but those are outlawed so I guess a nice stack of stool is the next best thing. The conservation whackos have gone nuts.


But hey, maybe they're onto something. We should do that with liberals. Rush Limbaugh says that we need to always make sure we keep a few of them around just as a reminder of how bad things could be. But instead, we could exterminate all of them and just keep some of their poop around. That way we would always be reminded of how much they stank but we wouldn’t have to listen to them talk.