Sunday, November 22, 2009

Government Takeover of Television Talk Shows; The Oprabama Show

Dear Mr. O,

Bummer about that bad news, eh chief? Just when you are taking the hits about your grossly overstated estimates of jobs saved or created, Oprah drops the bomb. She will be ending her show and LAYING OFF 600 EMPLOYEES. That doesn't look very good for your economic policies.

But I have an idea about how you can turn this lemon into lemonade. Here's the plan:

GOVERNMENT TAKEOVER OF HER SHOW. After all, it's "too big to fail." And YOU could be the STAR. Think about it; "The Obama Show." This could really work for you because there are so many similarities in you and Oprah that the transition should be nearly seamless and the success can be almost guaranteed.

  • Oprah's father left when she was young and she was raised by a poor single mother. Hey, so were you.
  • There is some question of accuracy in her birth certificate. There is some question of the existence of your birth certificate.
  • Oprah also hails from Chicago.
  • Some considered her a likely prospect for U.S. senator from Illinois. You've been there.
  • You would not have to change the show's logo. You could just use the same letter, "O."
  • Oprah has millions of adoring fans. You used to have millions of adoring fans but I can't find too many of them that would admit that anymore.
  • Oprah loves you. YOU love you.
    Oprah is considered a spiritual leader. Some people think you are the messiah.
  • And, just like you, one of Oprah's favorite things is an open microphone that allows her to talk to millions of people.
  • Oprah used the backward spelling of her name, Harpo, for the name of her production company. Harpo is a Marx brother. It's ironic, isn't it, that you are a fan of another Marx?
  • Oprah loves to take her money and use it for the benefit of others. You also want to take HER money and use it for the benefit of others.
And one other thing. By taking over her show, you could actually save 600 real jobs as well as creating one new job - yours, because you're gonna need it when you are fired in 2012.

I hope this has been a helpful suggestion. I remain happy to help whenever I can.

Ralph M. Petersen


Ellery said...

I am curious if He has actually responded to any of your letters? He only responded to one of mine when I asked him not to governmentalize health care. He wrote back to say thank you for supporting His health care bill.

By the way, I would watch the Obama show at least once.

Ralph M. Petersen-Always Right; Sometimes Wrong! said...

Yes, I did get a response. I nearly puked. I posted a comment about my response here: