So what about the Socialization Issue?
That really is a non-issue and shouldn't even be a concern for Christian parents. Does anyone really think their children are better socialized by their peer and public educators than by their parents, families and close Christian friends?
The following article on the subject was written by the Christian Home School Resource, Pearables, and is reprinted here with their permission.
The Truth About... SOCIALIZATION
I’m sure that all of us, as believing "home training" families, have all been asked the question many times, "What about socialization???" Many of our well meaning relations have brought up this subject numerous times and have needed to be reassured with a satisfactory answer for the sake of our beloved children. We have come to the conclusion that the only answer you can give to this question is that socialization is not a term that Christians should even consider or worry about!!!
FIRST, WHAT EXACTLY IS SOCIALIZATION?
The dictionary definition of SOCIALIZE is this: 1. To place under government or group ownership or control. 2. To fit with others; make sociable in attitude or manners. 3. To convert or adapt to the needs of society.
Davis Dictionary of the Bible states that "the word WORLD is frequently used for the inhabitants of the world." In other words, "world", as used in the Bible, is in regards to SOCIETY.
Socialization is simply learning to conform with today’s society or world!
Davis Dictionary of the Bible states that "the word WORLD is frequently used for the inhabitants of the world." In other words, "world", as used in the Bible, is in regards to SOCIETY.
Socialization is simply learning to conform with today’s society or world!
Each of us that were trained by the public education system of our time grew up with the idea that, after a long day of being in school, we could go and play with the neighborhood children or friends we made from school. There was never any question as to the desirability of our companions as we had to all get along in our neighborhood!
Much of our upbringing has overflowed into our home training lifestyle and we need to reexamine what is "normal" to us... and if it is scriptural.
WHAT DOES THE BIBLE HAVE TO SAY ABOUT CONFORMING TO SOCIETY?
John 15:18-19 says, "If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you. If ye were of the world, the world would love his own; but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, (or paraphrased - you are not to be socialized!) therefore the world hateth you!"
Romans 12:2 states, "And be not conformed to this world; but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."
Would it be fair to say that if we ARE conformed to this world, and are NOT transformed by the renewing of our mind, that we will NOT KNOW what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God? Heaven forbid if we allow our children to be conformed or socialized to the world and its ways!
WE MUST BE CAUTIOUS THAT WE DO NOT GET CARRIED ALONG WITH THE HOMESCHOOLING MOVEMENT AS IT HAS BECOME NO LONGER JUST A CHRISTIAN ISSUE!
As believers, we should NOT want our children to be socialized as the world sees it. We need to be very careful of whom our children see and are around.
In the homeschooling movement are a growing number of people who are not teaching their children because of Biblical convictions but are doing it for educational purposes. We constantly hear from people who are dismayed with support groups whose "center" is not Christ at all, but education and socialization. Many of these homeschoolers do not profess Christianity but are following the New Age and humanistic philosophies.
One of their main objectives is that they believe they can turn their children into even BETTER citizens (or socialized individuals) than what the public education system is doing.
But WHY are we training our children? The reason Christians are undertaking this is because of the Word of God! The scriptures clearly tell us it is the responsibility of the parent to train their OWN children up in the admonition and love of the LORD. Now what fellowship, dear brother or sister, have we with that of the world? What could we possibly have in common with those who are NOT homeschooling for the same reason?
A FEAR TACTIC IS USED TO KEEP PEOPLE IN DECEPTION REGARDING SOCIALIZATION!
What starts to happen when people ask, "Aren’t you worried about socialization?" is that this very question plants a little seed in ones heart. It may sow a little seed of doubt that maybe our children won’t be brought up normal! Or another deceptive thought this humanism breeds is, "Don’t you know that your children aren’t going to know how to get along in this world?" ... "They aren’t going to know how to get along with people who are not like them!"
The list goes on and on. But if we are training our children up in the Word of God we KNOW our children are NOT going to be "normal" compared to the world’s or society’s standards!
As believers, we should know that our children will be HAPPILY different than other children... Our children will be raised up with a love for God and a respect for God and His family of believers here on earth.
As believers, we should know that our children will be HAPPILY different than other children... Our children will be raised up with a love for God and a respect for God and His family of believers here on earth.
The fear that is instilled by people that don’t quite understand the Biblical teaching that we will NOT conform to this world or society, by saying that our children are going to be "different", can only affect us because of our OWN socialization!
Are we afraid to stand for the Word of God? Are we so far damaged by the result of our own selves being socialized that we LISTEN to the whispers of humanism and accept these thoughts as TRUTH without ever searching in the Scriptures as what the Lord would say? It is our duty as children of God to find out what HE would say in response to socialization.
THE MISSIONARY CONCEPT REGARDING OUR CHILDREN HAS KEPT MANY CHILDREN FROM BEING TRAINED UP BY THEIR PARENTS AND ARE STILL IN PUBLIC SCHOOL TODAY AS A RESULT.
The MISSIONARY CONCEPT is the belief that we need to have our children out in the world witnessing and interacting with other children that are not believers. That it is their responsibility as young believers to be with and teach non-believers about the Lord and His Word.
What happens with this philosophy is that the children are then allowed to mix with children that are not being trained up in God’s Holy Word with the thought that THEY will be a good and righteous influence upon those that are devoid of truth. Does this thought line up with God’s Word? The belief that children of good moral character befriending and training those that are of a bad character (or that character which is trained up in worldliness) is contrary to sound Biblical teaching:
1 Cor. 15:33. Be not deceived; evil communications corrupts good manners.
According to the Strong’s Concordance COMMUNICATIONS means companionship; association together; company!
This scripture makes it very clear that evil company will only make the good corrupt! Not the other way around!!! If the scriptures say these things, are we willing to test them to see if they are TRUE? Are we willing to take this chance with the CHARACTER of our own precious children?
Here are some more scriptures to ponder regarding this subject:
Prov. 9:6. Forsake the foolish and live.
Prov. 13:20. He that walketh with wise men shall be wise but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.
Prov. 9:6. Forsake the foolish and live.
Prov. 13:20. He that walketh with wise men shall be wise but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.
Here is an allegory that one brother came up with. He worked at the Olympic Training Center and was talking about the way the athletes lived. They were put on very rigorous schedules and very disciplined diets, some for years and years, during the time that they were preparing for the Olympic tryouts. During this time, they were only allowed one goal in their minds, and that was to win the opportunity to compete in the Olympics! Nothing else was allowed to be focused upon in their lives.
Do you know what they call this period of time during an athlete’s life? TRAINING! They are in TRAINING! The dictionary definition of training is: 1. To coach in or accustom to some mode of behavior or performance. 2. To make proficient with specialized instruction and practice. 4. To cause to take a desired course or shape.
The Strong’s Concordance definition of train in Prov. 22:6 (Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it...) is Hebrew #2596:
To NARROW. To initiate or discipline. Dedicate; Train up!
To NARROW. To initiate or discipline. Dedicate; Train up!
The term "Narrow Minded" has usually been used in a derogatory manner towards people who have a narrow view or regard life through an unmovable philosophy or viewpoint. We should be very ENCOURAGED when we are viewed this way!
Dear believers, if the world regards training so seriously today in an effort to win such a prize as an Olympic medal, why do we not regard as seriously our race that Paul preached about....
1 Corinthians 9:24-27: Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain. And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible. I therefore so run, not as uncertainly; so fight I, not as one that beateth the air; but I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection; lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.
Do these scriptures sound as if we are to be passive towards the goal of living a life unto Christ? How much more should we teach our children to be careful in the race towards Christ and to not be afraid to TRAIN them! Sheltering our children during this time of training is not bad!
THE MAJOR GOAL OF THE HUMANISTIC PHILOSOPHY OF SOCIALIZATION IS TO ENCOURAGE OUR CHILDREN TO QUESTION AND DOUBT TRADITION- AL BIBLICAL VALUES THROUGH PEER PRESSURE!
One of the goals of socialization is to BROADEN the minds of our children and not have them be "narrow-minded"! A very popular bumper sticker that is seen on the rear of many cars reads: "CELEBRATE DIVERSITY" ! It is a very sad thing to see many religious organizations accepting this same philosophy. We have accepted as "normal" perversity! Another bumper sticker recently read: "CELEBRATE PERVERSITY?"
Socialization can be devastatingly dangerous to children that are not yet founded in the Word of God and are easily swayed by others. Prayerfully, if we bring each of our children up to not regard the opinion of their peers higher than the opinion of their parents, and we insure that those who they do have minimal interaction with are being trained with the same goals, we then will have beaten this humanism! The outcome for our children will be that they will NEVER have been SOCIALIZED, or in other words, made worldly!!
SOCIALIZATION ALSO HAS BEEN CHRISTIANIZED SO THAT MANY HAVE BEEN DECEIVED INTO LETTING THEIR CHILDREN BEFRIEND THE WORLD...
The scriptures teach us to GO into all the world and preach the Gospel, but does this mean that we go and BEFRIEND the world? Did our examples, the apostles, befriend the world? What did they have to say about this?
James 4:4. Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? Whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.
SOCIALIZATION IS ALSO BASED ON THE BELIEF THAT IF OUR CHILDREN DO NOT PLAY WITH OTHER CHILDREN, THEY WILL NOT BE ABLE TO FUNCTION IN SOCIETY.
This belief has pressured many of us to allow our children to play and associate more often than what we should with others children. This is where we need to question this belief and line it up with the Word of God. First of all, what does the Bible have to say about children?
Prov. 22:15. Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
Prov. 29:15. The rod and reproof give wisdom; but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.
This belief has pressured many of us to allow our children to play and associate more often than what we should with others children. This is where we need to question this belief and line it up with the Word of God. First of all, what does the Bible have to say about children?
Prov. 22:15. Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
Prov. 29:15. The rod and reproof give wisdom; but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.
How many times have we allowed our children to play with other children and then go off and let them tend to themselves? So many times we have let our little ones occupy themselves with playmates while we get things done that needed to be tended to, and have not supervised the situation. Many times, these situations have ended with children getting hurt or fights breaking out. Tears are shed and the parent never really knows exactly what happened or who really was at fault in these instances. If one is in the habit of doing this often, isn’t it doing what is spoken of in Prov. 29 of leaving our children to themselves? And not only that, we are allowing them to train each other! We are letting foolishness train up foolishness.
There is nothing wrong with children playing together. But the philosophy that they MUST play together to grow up functional is never mentioned once in the Word of God. The Scriptures which talk about children are all based around the PARENTS having interaction... NOT peers.
THE FAMILY IS WHERE BIBLICAL SOCIALIZATION STARTS AND ENDS...
The following are scriptures that admonish us in who is necessary in the training of our children. Please note that there is not one scripture throughout the whole Bible that says peers are needed in this training. Read 1 Kings 12:1-16 that tells us what happened to King Rehoboam because of peer pressure and influence.
Deut. 6:6-7 & 11:19... And thou shalt teach them (God’s Statutes) diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
This scripture says to DILIGENTLY teach our children and then goes on to say that during each moment of our lives we are to teach them... not just speak them but also teach through our actions... CONSTANTLY. It doesn’t sound here as if the parents were allowed too much "time for themselves"!
Prov. 22:6. Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Prov. 29:17. Correct thy son and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.
Eph. 6:4. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath; but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
WHO is told to train up the children? The parent. Who is to chastise and correct? The parent. Who is to teach the children God’s ways? That’s right, THE PARENT! Scripturally, the parent and the family is all that is necessary for a child to be trained up correctly, if that training is based on God’s Word. We no longer need to be afraid that if we are careful of our children’s associations we will cause irreversible psychological damage to them! It is actually quite the opposite. We could cause spiritual harm to our blessed offspring if we AREN’T careful of SOCIALIZATION.
SOCIALIZATION HAS HAD AN AFFECT UPON BELIEVERS THAT WERE BROUGHT UP IN THE PUBLIC SCHOOLS AND ARE NOW RAISING CHILDREN.
Public school has done a very good job in influencing most of the parents today. The aspect of socialization has caused many of us to be afraid to stand up and do things a little bit differently. But this is what SOCIALIZATION was meant to do! It is to ensure that people follow along with what society says is NORMAL! When people lift up their eyebrows when you say you "home teach" your children, their reaction is only because they were not trained this way and they wonder if another way could be successful.
The aspect of EXPERTISM comes in also... Pretty soon, we are wondering if we will need degrees to be mothers and fathers! In order to do anything successfully, one must have a university and college degree... only then does a person know what they are doing!
Socialization is not just a simple thought that children must play with other children. It runs much deeper than that. When humanism declared that all children must interact it was part of their belief of reconstructing and reforming the mind set of America. It is a way to have the people in society keep an eye on the rest of society! It causes people to never step out and think for themselves and never weigh society’s teachings with what God’s Word is saying!
We do not know how much longer the Government will tolerate believers home training their children. We pray that God will soften the hearts of those in authority over us... We need to keep on the alert and watch! Socialization is not a Christian philosophy. Rather, it is totally contrary. Many people do not realize this and so are allowing their children to have influences in their lives that are harmful to their spiritual growth. Many of these influences come through the guise of homeschooling. Many through the influence of television.
My wife recently stated that many seemingly innocent cartoon characters were hurting believer’s children... She was questioning me, if Donald Duck came to play with our children, would we let him in? Now Donald Duck seems to be a relatively harmless fellow but if you take a closer look at his character, he is known for his selfishness, grumpiness and deviousness. If you happen to let your children befriend cartoon characters, take a closer look at their character and see what they reflect!
One family uses these questions as a checklist for their children’s associations:
1. Do they have a deep love and respect of the Lord and His Word?
2. Do they choose not to conform to this world as in Romans !2:2 & John 15:18-19. (This is a very sensitive subject as different families have different beliefs as to what conformity is. The head of each family should decide for his own offspring what their standard will be. Also, be charitable and remember that all of us are in different states of growing with the Lord and to look at the openness of people in their attitude to God’s Holy Word.)
3. Do they have attitudes of respect for one another and operate through a character of brotherly kindness and love?
1. Do they have a deep love and respect of the Lord and His Word?
2. Do they choose not to conform to this world as in Romans !2:2 & John 15:18-19. (This is a very sensitive subject as different families have different beliefs as to what conformity is. The head of each family should decide for his own offspring what their standard will be. Also, be charitable and remember that all of us are in different states of growing with the Lord and to look at the openness of people in their attitude to God’s Holy Word.)
3. Do they have attitudes of respect for one another and operate through a character of brotherly kindness and love?
Beware, dear saint, that we do have an enemy, and this enemy definitely wants the hearts, minds and souls of our children. Do not underestimate him, but be watchful and alert!
1 Peter 5:8-9 "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour; whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world.
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