Friday, April 29, 2016

How to Solve All Your Community's Social Problems For Under Three Bucks

Well, we're in trouble now; Hemet will never be rid of panhandling since our local law enforcement has deemed panhandling a legal activity protected by the First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States of America.  I wonder how a guy can rise to the position of Chief of Police and not know anything about the original intent of the First Amendment but I digress.

So, for all you sympathetic do-gooders, here is a win-win solution to the problem.

You can provide assistance panhandlers, help your local economy, guarantee that your money will not be used for tobacco, drugs, or alcohol, help clean up your neighborhood, and minimize the problem of panhandling all with one clever package for about $2.50.

There is a bargain ($.98) store in my neighborhood. I purchased a can of potato crisps (similar to Pringles but not as tasty) for only $.98. Then I bought a 24 oz. can of Arnold Palmer Iced Tea with lemonade for $.98. They also have a brand of absorbent adult sized underwear (similar to Depends, only cheaper) in packages of 20 for about $10. That's about $.50 each.

You can make up several gift bags so you will always have them handy at grocery store parking lots and gas stations or wherever you may be solicited.  Put the potato crisps, the iced tea, and one diaper in a plastic bag and give it to the panhandler. The potato crisps will feed him (I use this masculine pronoun in the generic sense and it is not intended to discriminate against females or any other confused gender concoction) if he's hungry. The iced tea is enough to sate his thirst, even on the hottest days. In fact, he will be overfilled and will soon need to relieve himself. The diaper is so he won't urinate or defecate in the doorways of the local merchants' shops or other public places. The bag will give him something to put his trash in, including his soiled diaper, until he has the time to walk 30 feet across the street and deposit it in the trash can. He will recycle the empty tea can for a nickel.

There you have it; you can feel all warm and fuzzy about showing mercy, compassion, and charity: you can support your local economy, assist your local law-enforcement, contribute to the beautification of your community, and you can do your part to protect the ecological health of the planet, all for about two and a half bucks (***SEE IMPORTANT UPDATE INFORMATION BELOW***).

Your hard-earned money will have been spent in a local merchant's store and the sales tax paid, will contribute to the support of the city's (soon to be imposed) Measure U tax increase for public safety.

Best of all (wait for it), THE BUM WILL PROBABLY NEVER ASK YOU FOR ANYTHING AGAIN.  PROBLEM SOLVED.

You're welcome,







(Important update --- Because of Kalifornia's new plastic bag prohibition, the cost for me to provide assistance to panhandlers will necessarily be increased by 4%.)  

Thursday, April 21, 2016

Beware of Elephants Bearing Gifts and Wearing Suicide Bomber Vests.


I'm man enough to admit when I am wrong; I apologize for accusing the Democrat Party of being evil and I repent for calling the Republican Party stupid.

I don't think any Democrat, Progressive, Socialist, Communist, Marxist, or any other brand of leftist is inherently evil. I don't think they really intend any harm. I believe they mean well. I believe they envision a great, global society of peace, tolerance and egalitarianism. The only problem is that every place and in every time it has ever been tried, IT HAS FAILED. So lefties are not evil they are just STUPID because they don't want to be bothered with facts; they have made up their minds and they refuse to learn from history or experience.

On the other hand, the Republican Party establishment (that Grand Old Party) is NOT stupid (that would be excusable); it is deliberately deceitful and destructive. They have been lying to us for a couple generations. They have been trying to assure us that they are doing all they can to resist and obstruct the left. They have promised that, if we give them majorities, they would uphold our constitution and protect our freedoms when, in fact, they are leading us down the same old daisy-lined, happy-crap path to totalitarianism that is embraced by their lefty cronies. They are NOT the conservative party; In fact, the Republican establishment HATES conservatives.  When conservatives find their way into the party, they are either bought or destroyed. Republicans are self-serving and shrewd in their planned destruction of our republic. Like the lefties, I think they really believe that their actions are in our best interest. But unlike the left, They KNOW it has never worked in the past; they're just arrogant enough to think that they can do it better and make it work this time. That's why the Republican Party is NOT stupid. IT IS EVIL.

Conservatives have been sold out. We thought the Republicans were our friends.  By the time our next presidential election rolls around, our constitutional republic may be on life support or, worse yet, a dead relic of history. Obama may be America's last president. We may soon wake up to find a monarch in the White House, our property confiscated, our money devalued, and our freedoms gone; something the left has been trying to do all along. But it looks like all they really needed to do was just sit back and wait for the Republican Party to self-destruct.